Version 5.4 ~ Haruhi gave rock and roll to you.

9 March 2009: Fresh Precure is the same as it ever was where it matters

Buki, Miki, Chiffon, and Love
Buki, Miki, and Chiffon are aghast at Love's funny face attempt.

So, just as it was back when the original Futari wa Pretty Cure aired, I have gone back to watching Fresh Pretty Cure raws. Like the original, this is a pretty easy series to watch sans subtitles. They could be speaking Latin and the viewer should still have no difficulty following the story. This is a show for little kids, after all.

Love is love.

Through six episodes, Fresh Precure does feature a number of differences with the original Precure. First and most obvious is the newfangled character designs. As I have commented before, the Fresh girls look considerably older than the original Cures despite being the same age. For example, Love is practically the same height as her mother. [Update: Wait, no she's not. I guess it was just the angle.] It is as if Toei saw the fan art designs for Dark Dream and had an epiphany.

Dark Dream
Dark Dream from Yes! Precure 5 GoGo!
(Non-canonical version.)

Second and perhaps most importantly, the mascot characters are not annoying! Moreover, both have already been spotted in the open by non-Cure-type regular people. Tart the talking weasel with the Osaka accent is lying low as Love's pet ferret à la Yuuno Scrya from the Nanoha series.

Tart makes himself at home.

Chiffon is a little annoying, but Chiffon doesn't talk and isn't nearly the troublemaker it could be. It's almost too good to be true, really.

This is as bad as Chiffon far.

There are other assorted differences, but the one that bothers me most is the CGI ED. This is a departure from the original series (and from the clips of the other Precure iterations' EDs that I have seen). It kind of freaked me out at first, to tell you the truth, but I have since decided it does not look so bad at HD resolutions—even upscaled.

Cure Peach
CGI Cure Peach knows no nose.

The Fresh all singing all dancing CGI ED strikes a blow in the battle between computerized Idolm@ster-type idols versus human-type live idols. In fact, I will go on record as saying the first casualty in the War Against the Machines will be meatspace synchronized dancers. A seemingly innocuous casualty with the extermination of the human race on the line, but a sure one. Just watch the Vocaloid cover of the Cyndi Wang cover of the ABBA song "Honey" and tell me I'm wrong. But I digress.

Vocaloid all stars
Vocaloid Army, assemble!

Ultimately what will make or break Fresh Precure for me is the quantity and quality of magikal girls getting really pissed off. And lots of hand-to-hand combat. This is a formula that had better stay true to form during the quickly-approaching All Stars movie.

Cure Berry, Cure Peach, and Cure Pine
For no reason, here is another look at the CGI Fresh ED, arena version.

In fact, I'll make it easy for Toei. Here is a partial list of my wholly reasonable expectations for the Pretty Cure All Stars crossover movie:

Cure Black
Speak to Cure Black with respect.
You don't want rebar to the face.

  • Honoka goes ape shit again and chokes out one of the Yes! Cures for having the gall to address her as "White" instead of "Cure White-sama."
  • At least three or four of the newer Cures should idolize Nagisa and follow her around offering to carry her gym bag and such, crooning "Cure Black-senpai" this and "Cure Black-senpai" that.
  • Bring back David Bowie.
  • NO PORUN. And none of the that other annoying mascot that drives even Porun crazy.
  • Some moment where Cure Black and Cure White Marvelous Screw Rainbow Storm some deadbeats square in the face while rookie Cures stand back, mouths agape, whispering, "Is this the power of the Yakin Due veterans?"
  • Cagalli throws The Ring into Mount Doom. Wait...

I am calling the transformed version East and calling the
plain-clothed edition Easy. It's entirely reasonable, okay?
[Update: Eas/Easy in battle costume, Setsuna in street clothes.]

In other news, I am fully prepared to declare Easy the best Pretty Cure villain of the franchise. Even better than David Bowie. True story. Your mileage may vary (and likely turn on whether or not you consider Dark Dream a villain or not).

Kaoru ogles the girls
I admit that does look like a good donut.

In other other news, I am not so sure it is appropriate for Love to address Mr. Heart-Shaped Donut Vendor as "Kaoru-chan." Then again, it's probably not appropriate for him to be selling donuts out of the back of a van, so I guess it's a wash.

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