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24 July 2009: Things you'll find during the hottest two minutes of the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie

Cure Peach
Love gets excited when she talks, okay.

Between minutes 58 to 60 in the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie, you'll find wall-to-wall mahou shoujo beatdowns. It also starts off with Love doing that thing she does where the longer she talks, the faster and louder she gets.

Cure White, Cure Peach, and Milky Rose
Nice of you to join the fight, Peach-han.

Cure Peach also does a rather simian run for no reason, but it looks cool. Actually, it's probably to keep her enormous hair from dominating the screen entirely.

Cure Black, Shiny Luminous, and Cure White
Max Heart is here to eat takoyaki and kick ass.
And they're all out of takoyaki.

The Max Heart crew doesn't save anyone's ass during these two minutes. They already bailed out all the rest of the Cures earlier in the movie. Well, not the Fresh Cures; they were too busy being incapacitated to need saving.

Cure Rouge, Cure Aqua, Shiny Luminous, and Cure Mint.
Cure Rouge, Cure Aqua, and Cure Mint need to learn to spread out more.

I lied. Shiny Luminous totally bails out Cure Rouge, Cure Aqua, and Cure Mint from the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 Go Go! team.

Cure Black and Cure White
A signature move of the original Cures.

You'll also find that signature wall-stick move of the original Cures with all the flips. I'm still pissed they eliminated and then retconned out Cure Black's superfluous flip after she sticks, just so you know.

Cure Aqua
Cure Aqua gets to attack without reciting extended incantations.

You'll also find a lot of beam spamming by the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 Go Go! team. At least they get to whip that shit out in real time during the movie.

Cure Pine, Cure Peach, and Cure Berry
Your flying attacks are unsynchronized, rookies. UNSAT. Try it again.

The Fresh Cures also finally get into the act after spending most of the movie imprisoned in the La Brea Tar Pits.

Cure Black and Cure White
Never mind. Cure Black and Cure White have got this.

The Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie didn't do too much with the experienced Cures overshadowing the newer Cures, but it's there. There is one extended sequence when the Fresh Cures see all the other Cures in battle costumes for the first time. Appropriately, the rookie Cures are completely awestruck.

Cure Egret and Cure Bloom
Airborne Cure, Airborne Cure, where have you been?

Taking me completely by surprise, the two most telegenic of all Cure attacks in the movie belong to my least favorite Cures. Easily taking the top spot is the high altitude synchronized drop the much maligned Splash Star Cures execute just to show off. I might have to reconsider the possibility that what I originally assumed to be blatant ripoffs of the original duo are, in fact, actually re-imagined imitators in the flattery-type vein. Too soon to be an homage, but perhaps embodying the same spirit. I might have to watch Splash Star after all.

Cure Lemonade
That's not lemonade.

Probably the second-best looking attack is the one where Cure Lemonade Spider-Mans the dog shit out of the Big Bad. I didn't know she had it in her. And there you go. Two solid minutes of hard core wall-to-wall ass kickings in a 70-minute movie that's 90 percent ass kickings anyway.

Milky Rose
Milky Rose is a one-shot wonder.

Oh, I forgot to add that Milky Rose's big contribution to this fight is also really showy. I'm not entirely sure what to make of Milky Rose. She's actually one of the annoying mascots just transformed into a human dekochin ojousama form. My initial impression is she must think she's better than the other familiars. Why wasn't she at that meeting with the rest of the mascots? Even Coco and Nuts were there. Too good for staff huddles, eh?

All the mascots except Milk and that mailbox thing I guess.
If you all know each other, why didn't your Cures ever team up before?

To be fair, being at that staff meeting would drive me insane too. ALL the Pretty Cure mascots in one place at one time yammering back and forth at each other? Uh, no thanks. I will take your free rainbow flashlight, though.

Cure Rouge
Cure Rouge gets loose.

So what about the other 68 minutes of the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie? Not bad, but pity it couldn't have been longer. I guess you can't really have a kids movie run too long, but were little girls even the movie's real target audience? I'm thinking that's the demographic that went to the theaters, but most of the movie is heavy on the fight scenes, even for Precure.

Milky Rose, Cure Mint, and Cure Aqua
The sky is falling, Cures. And, uh, you too.

I noticed similarities in the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie to the climatic battles in My-Otome to tell you the truth, but All Stars DX outperforms My-Otome in mahou shoujo beat downs by a mile. These girls make the welkin ring.

Cure Black and Cure White
Does this count as fan service? I know there's an armpit
fetish. How about the back of the knee?

Overall, Pretty Cure All Stars DX is Pretty Satisfying. It hits about all the notes you might reasonably expect, including making the Max Heart and Splash Star Cures more capable than the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 Go Go! sentai team and the almost ineffectual rookie Fresh trio. All Stars DX obviously takes place early in the Fresh timeline—before they could dance, even. If there's another All Stars movie (and I'm betting there will be, as long as Precure remains a cash cow), I wonder how the inclusion of Cure Passion will change up this dynamic?

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