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27 November 2006: Eureka 7

I hate Eureka 7. Wait, let me start over. I hated Eureka 7, but now I only dislike it.

I first tried watching Eureka 7 (also spelled Eureka seveN sometimes for some reason) when it first aired. I got through the first two episodes and decided I wasn't really interested in watching a show about sky-surfing robots. Really, sky-surfing robots would have been a cool idea in 1992, but now just seems stupid.

Renton
Renton.

The biggest problem I had with the show was that its lead character, 14-year-old Renton, was annoying as all Hell. I find it pretty hard to enjoy a series if I hate its characters, so this was a pretty big black eye. Also Eureka's kinda ugly. I'm shallow that way.

So I gave up on it and didn't give it another thought until after its 50-episode run, and I started hearing people raving about how it was one of the best shows of all time. "Better than Full Moon wo Sagashite," at least one person boasted. That's a bold statement.

So I start watching Eureka 7 again from the beginning. This time I made it to, like, episode five before deciding the show was retarded, the characters odious, and the plot entirely uninteresting. So I quit again. Now, mention this to rabid Eureka 7 fanboys and they'll flip out crazy-like.

Eureka
Eureka.

So fine, the most ardent fans insist that the show gets SUPER AWESOME later, and grudgingly concede that some viewers are not as interested in the early episodes. "Give it to episode 26."

Ha ha. What? A 26-episode test? You've got to be kidding me.

See, the problem with the early episodes isn't that they aren't interesting, but that they made me hate the show. I hated the show, I hated the characters, and I hated the sky-surfing robots.

That's not entirely true. I didn't hate Talho. She was sloppy and cruel, so she was okay by me. And I didn't hate Anemone, although I didn't fall madly in love with her like all those Anemone fanboys polluting attempts at rational discussion of Eureka 7. And I didn't hate Dominic. Actually, I kinda liked Dominic because of his single-minded, unwavering, unconditional, unrequited love for Anemone. I didn't understand why he was so dedicated to her, but this devotion at least made him an interesting character.

Talho and Holland
Talho and Holland.

I hated the children, though. Oh, Lord, I hated the children. Eureka is the worst mother of all time. Oops, that's a spoiler. Well, it's a spoiler for like episode three out of 50. But yeah, Eureka is a TERRIBLE mother, and I wanted all of her children to fall out of the back of the Gekko Go and plummet unnoticed to their deaths. The children were dreadfully annoying, and apparently aren't ever going to go away.

You see, I'm past episode 26, the promised "turning point of sheer awesomeness" that marks the beginning of wall-to-wall anime excellence. [Spoiler: Renton and Eureka are re-united.]

Okay, so why don't I like Eureka 7? I think the basic problem is that it is a kids' show for little boys. Yes, Eureka 7 is a clock show. This means it aired in the morning. This means it's aimed at kids. But I've watched and enjoyed many clock shows in the past. For example, the aforementioned Full Moon wo Sagashite was a clock show, and it IS one of the best shows of all time. But when I think about it, all the clock shows I've enjoyed were designed for little girls.

Perhaps I just dislike shows targeted at little boys. Shounen jive, and whatnot. For example, Naruto and everything about Naruto makes it sound like the stupidest thing ever, despite its popularity. And have no doubt about it, Eureka 7 is a show for little boys. I find the writing pretty tiresome and obvious, and the jokes juvenile. And its lead character is a dumb, punk-ass kid.

Most of the time Renton opens his mouth, I want someone to slap the Bejesus out of him. (Although there's little indication to suggest that Renton even believes in Bejesus.) Thankfully, someone does slap the shit out of Renton quite frequently. I mean, it happens all the time. Thank God, because the kid has it coming. Damn.

38 episodes down, 12 to go. Oh, don't get me wrong. It's gotten better, but I still don't like the show. And episode 26 was kinda cool, but it's no Pitari Tenshi episode 10.

This post likely incurs the wrath and ire of Eureka 7's broad fanbase. That's okay. Comments are disabled. And if any of them all figure out how to e-mail me their hate mail, I hope they come across a little better than the people who have e-mailed me for criticizing Negima, Hellsing, and Chobits. Ha ha. Chobits.

Anemone
Anemone.

But seriously, the reason I'm not putting a whole lot of thought into this post is because I don't respect Eureka 7. As far as I'm concerned, it's just a dumb kid's show that a lot of people happen to like. A lot of people like Naruto. There are even people who think Gift ~eternal rainbow~ is a good show. I'm not here to judge.

So I guess I can offer that for those of you who haven't seen Eureka 7, you should give it a try, because it's supposed to be REALLY GOOD. Just understand that if you hate the children, don't like Renton, don't like Eureka, don't like sky-surfing robots, and generally don't care for shows aimed at little boys, you're probably not going to like Eureka 7, either, no matter how long you watch it.

Don't worry, I'll post a retraction if the final 12 episodes of Eureka 7 are good enough to make me change my mind.

At least the music is consistently excellent. There is that.


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