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29 March 2014: So much for my Pretty Cure rankings

Bomber Girls
There's a new sheriff in town.

Although mostly tongue-in-cheek, I've fastidiously maintained an ever-growing list of Pretty Cure rankings, both for the Cures themselves and for their civilian personae. However, HappinessCharge Precure! pretty much puts an end to this practice. Both lists appear below, frozen in their likely final forms:

Black > White > Bright > Windy > Egret > (Michiru) > (Kaoru) > Bloom > Peach-han > Dream > Passion > Rouge > (Milky Rose) > Marine > Beauty > Heart (Overmana) > Berry > Pine > Aqua > Lemonade > Flower > Melody > Rhythm > Beat > Mint > March > (Shiny Luminous) > Sunny > Ace > Rosetta > Sword > Sunshine > Moonlight > Heart (Regularmana) > Diamond > Blossom > Happy > Fortune > (Ange) > Muse Kamen > Lovely > Echo > Peace > Princess > Candy > Shrimpy Muse > Empress.

Mai > Honoka > Nagisa > Saki > Michiru > Kaoru > Rin > Love > Setsuna > Detective Komachi > Erika > Reika > Malice > Kurumi > Kanade > Hibiki > Inori > Karen > Ellen > Miki > Alice > Makoto > Mana > Rikka > Regular Komachi > Urara > Hikari > Nao > Akane > Tsubomi > Nozomi > Kaoruko > Ayumi > Itsuki > Madoka > Miyuki > Aguri > Iona > Megumi > Yuko > Yayoi > Yuri > Himelda Window Cure Queen of the Blue Sky (Shirayuki Hime) > Ako.

The problem is HappinessCharge Precure! wasn't content with merely swelling the Pretty Cure ranks with Cure Fortune, Cure Princess, Cure Lovely, and Cure Honey. No, now there are Cures all around the world, presumably native to their respective territories (although possibly still Japanese teenage girls stationed overseas as a form of mahou shoujo force projection similar to how the United States stations its military globally).

The French Cure
Oh, it's a paintbrush, not a broom.

If you think I'm going to start ranking dozens of unnamed Cures each week just because they get a few seconds of screentime, you're out of your mind. I can at least tell you Cure Princess ranks pretty low, though. She's even less useful than Cure Blossom on a bad day.


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