He's fine. Your dad has been knocked unconscious probably a thousand times by now.

The Meitantei Conan anime (localized as Detective Conan and Case Closed) has been running since January 1996. I didn't start watching it until much later than that, but I have been following it for something like 13 years. I did start from the first episode, but I ended up I skipped hundreds of episodes in what was at the time the middle of its run. Still, I've basically seen all of the episodes from the past decade at least, including a number of spinoffs. It's getting to be entirely too many because I'm tired of the anime-original episodes.

On the plus side, Ran will probably kick some guy in the neck next episode.

I've complained about this before, but now I've decided to stop watching the series aside from the episodes that draw from the source material. Thankfully, the Japanese-language Wikipedia entry gets updated in a timely fashion, making it easy to identify which episodes to pass up. It's not that there aren't good anime-original episodes, but there are entirely too many that don't seem worth watching when a show has run as long as Detective Conan. Incidentally, the plot episodes based on the manga do suggest the main story is getting somewhere, but I have no idea if that means a conclusion is looming, or if we'll still be in basically the same place a decade from now.

Sera, what are you even wearing?

This has been developing for a while now, but the quality of Detective Conan episodes seems to have declined. I haven't examined this closely, but I suspect there are significantly more anime-original episodes now. It's probably also not easy to further advance the ostensible main plot in satisfactory ways given how absurd it is. It's one of those things that works best as an anime setup when left unchallenged.

Amuro is in both of these spinoffs.

Disappointingly, there were also a couple of recent Detective Conan spinoffs which are sort of terrible. Meitantei Conan: Keisaku Gakkou Hen (Detective Conan: Wild Police Story) runs in place of regular Detective Conan episodes and features tales of some of the side characters from the main series during their time in the police academy. It's not unwatchable, but it's certainly not good, even as a series intended for small children.

This car looks pretty good considering how often it gets fucked up.

Detective Conan: Zero's Tea Time ran on its own and consisted of six half-length episodes centered around Amuro. It, like Wild Police Story, is an adaptation of a spin-off manga, but I found its six episodes entirely pointless. I guess they were better than the Wild Police Story episodes, but I can only imagine Amuro has a lot more fans than I realized. Hopefully, it at least made some good people some money.

I wonder if Conan has ever accidentally put that thing through the wash.

Meitantei Conan crossed the 1000-episode threshold during the Winter 2021 anime season. Not counting the season it skipped due to Covid, Detective Conan churns out about nine or 10 new episodes each cours. Predicated on the assumption that the quality of these episodes remains basically constant, I have been using the series as a sort of control against which I measure my subjective impressions of the relative quality of seasonal anime. Theoretically, this will allow me to determine whether I am getting more jaded over time (or softer, as it were).

I do think it's odd when anime kids are drawn the size of literal babies.

In practice, I'm not sure this has worked out. This is not to say that the quality of Detective Conan episodes have declined necessarily, but the anime-original ones do seem less clever than I remember. And I think there are proportionally more anime-original episodes now. (I haven't actually compared seasons to see for sure.) I guess it ain't easy constantly coming up with new mysteries. The standalone cases based on the manga still seem fine, though.

What happens to the darts? I've never seen Conan retrieve one.

Incidentally, the various actual plot lines of the franchise have made some progress, but they advance slowly, as you might expect of such a long-running series. I don't have any issue with the pace, to tell you the truth, but I do wish the series was willing to explore new gimmicks instead of relying on the exact same ones from a thousand episodes ago. Being drugged so often surely can't be good for Kogorou or Sonoko. For that matter, does Conan use the exact same tranquilizer darts on a teenage girl that he uses on an alcoholic middle-aged man? It seems as if the doses required would be dissimilar. Detective Conan is going to end with Shinichi in prison.

Well, this hasn't changed at all.

Surprising almost one one, I'm sure, there are not a lot of plot-specific episodes of Detective Conan. Rather, there are probably readers who may be legitimately surprised to hear that Detective Conan even has a plot. Even though most episodes of the show do not feature any continuity, the anime-original ones are notably inferior to the non-plot-specific episodes that at least still derive from the source manga. I can usually tell when an episode is an anime original, mostly because the mystery's contrivances will be stupid instead of merely silly, and oftentimes characters will do something perplexing simply because the action more easily advances the story from point A to point B. Basically, I'll be watching an episode, and something will happen to make me think it's an anime-original one, and when I check later it will turn out I was right. In fact, I'm not sure I've been wrong yet.

I'm pretty happy Hayashibara Megumi continues to have regular appearances, even if Ai seems sort of bored.

Having a greater ratio of anime-original episodes in Detective Conan now is perfectly understandable, seeing as how the anime has nearly exhausted the available cases from the source manga by this point. One of the secondary impacts, though, is that this means I can no longer reliably use Detective Conan as my control. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I started rating shows by episode as a goof years ago, but then the chart kept growing and now it's just one of those things I guess I'm going to continue doing indefinitely. But I also can't assume that my rating standards will remain consistent from season to season and year to year. Hence, I used Detective Conan as my control, theorizing that I could count on such a long-running show to remain pretty much as good as it ever was. Therefore, how much better or worse another show's rating is relative to the average Detective Conan score for the same time period would offer a reliable check on quality beyond the numerical scores themselves. This is probably no longer the case if there are more anime-original episodes of Detective Conan now, and assuming the anime-original episodes are not as good. I guess I'm going to need to come up with some other form of sham metric now. Alas.

Is it racist to refer to those aliens as bananafish?

Actually, probably the real reason I haven't written about Star☆Twinkle Precure yet is because it's fine. I've watched every episode of Pretty Cure. It's been running non-stop for more than 15 years now. That is, quite frankly, a LOT of Pretty Cure. Most of the seasons are reasonably good. Some are great. And even the ones on the bottom of the list aren't actually bad. So it's not as if Star☆Twinkle Precure isn't good, it's just that I don't have much to say about it. What I should have done was provide a end-of-series write-up for Hugtto! Precure, because that was bananas. No promises, but maybe I'll go back and eventually give Hugtto! Precure a proper sendoff. At a minimum, I've got to say that Hugtto! Precure ended in a totally unique way that differed dramatically from how every other series in the franchise dealt with its main antagonist.

Bonus secondary transformation in episode 27.

Seeing as how Star☆Twinkle Precure is only a little past its halfway mark, there are plenty of opportunities left for it to go off the rails. I mean, its squad of legendary warriors already includes actual space aliens, one of which has so many different personas that I'm losing track of which one is her "real" one. It's arguably the embodiment of the idea SDS applies to Cure Sword. At a minimum, it has a lot of diversity and no shortage of new ideas. However, through 27 episodes, I'm still waiting for Star☆Twinkle Precure to do something dramatic enough that I'll want to revisit it in the years to come. That's surely not a fair demand to place on the latest installment of a show intended for small children—one that's been running since 2004, but that's at least where I'm at in 2019.

The matching guitars are actually magic beam rifles. This is not a joke.
P.S. Spoilers.

Seven or eight of the shows I plan to watch during the Summer 2018 anime season are shows continuing from Spring 2018 or sequels. Specifically, Overlord III, One Room 2, and Cinderella Girls Gekijou 3rd Season are sequels, and the shows continuing from last season are Detective Conan, GeGeGe no Kitarou, Major 2nd, Hugtto! Precure, and possibly Piano no Mori.

When in doubt, hug Chris.

Senki Zesshou Symphogear was awesome because it was preposterous. Symphogear went above and beyond to remain entertaining. From the first BADICAL episode to its ridiculous climax, Symphogear always remained fun to watch. I can't claim with a straight face that it's actually good, but I never claimed a show had to be good to be the best show of the season. More of this sort of thing, please.

It's all about the timing.

The best show of Winter 2012 if you want to use boring metrics such as "funny" or "consistent" is Daily Lives of High School Boys (Danshi Kōkōsei no Nichijō or "Nichibros" affectionately, among fans). Shockingly, this was a very amusing comedy and nothing at all like what I thought it would be about based on the title. Daily Lives of High School Boys also accomplished the rare No Bad Episodes achievement. Hell, I'd even go so far as to recommend it. That's something I can't do for Symphogear.

Black Rock Shooter needed more DARK MAMIKO.

I liked Black Rock Shooter for its almost confrontational use of allegory and metaphor to illustrate the trauma of suffering teenage feelings. I don't believe I have an especially high tolerance or patience for teen angst in general, so I consider my positive overall opinion of Black Rock Shooter to be a testament to its solid, stylish execution and depiction of envy, despair, humiliation, friendship, and courage. I can see how other viewers might wildly disagree, though.

Kazuha aikidos the shit out of some deadbeat.

Detective Conan remains as good as ever. It's somewhat amazing that after more than 650 episodes it still has compelling stories about its key characters. It's also just as satisfying as ever to watch Ran and Kazuha whip the Hell out of some goob. If you're new to these wrap-ups, Detective Conan is sort of my control group of quality since it's pretty consistent and appears ready to run as long as it has to.

Guilty Crown needed more Butt OS.

Guilty Crown was all over the place this season. It's quite a mess, but was pretty entertaining in an absurd sort of way when it was about [spoilers] and [spoilers] and [spoilers!], but then it just started getting stupid. Shu as a protagonist was its biggest flaw, and things would have been so much better if Guilty Crown had killed him unexpectedly and replaced him with Ayase. For a show that I ranked number one for a large part of the season, Guilty Crown fell a long way in its inability to pull off a satisfying conclusion. It also didn't make a damn lot of sense, but a show doesn't need to make sense to be the best of the season. (See Symphogear.)

Poor Flay is just misunderstood.

The "HD" rebroadcast of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED is not much different from the original. It's mostly just cropped and upscaled. I still like it, though, even if Flay's breasts are now flying out-of-control all over the OP.

That is some pretty good ramen.

I finished Thermae Romae months ago. It's a good thing it was so short, though. I can't imagine watching a full cour of it.

Flag of England and lance corporal rank.

It's a bit of a relief that Smile Precure! is charming. These girls can't fight worth a damn. That's kind of the trend for Pretty Cure over the last few years, though. There's not nearly enough ass kicking. I remain hopeful that Cure March will get her act together later, even if she does end up carrying the rest of the team. Notably, Nao wears combat boots and her favorite shirt appears to have lance corporal rank insignia on its sleeve and the flag of England on the breast. SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE, CURE MARCH!

Ai is pretty awesome even though she tastes like ramen.

Amagami SS+ was a huge letdown because it retconned nearly all of the progress Potato-kun made in the first season. It would be almost inexplicable, except that I should have predicted the craven devotion to upholding the Otaku Virtues. In nearly every respect, the second season of Amagami SS is wasted potential, and a waste of time. At least Tsukasa remains the Amagami Best Girl by showing she's smart enough not to fall for stupid tricks.

Potato-kun comes for Asia's box.

High School DxD is both a disappointment and a pleasant surprise. On the one hand, it's a lot better than a trashy show like that has any right to be. On the other hand, it didn't turn out as good as it appeared it would be from the early episodes following the cookie-cutter first episode.

The best Milky Holmes II had to offer.

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes II was not nearly as good as the first season. Then again, the first season was a lot better than anyone expected it to be, so I guess it works out. Too much lard, not enough Arsène, and the only new gag I liked was Hercule turning out to be a huge pervert in secret.

Hair down > twin-tails.

Another was another letdown for me. It started off boring, got interesting, got stupid, and ended up being completely retarded. I think it tried recapture the elements that made Shiki so good, but instead of B-movie fun Another was just poorly written dreck. So many problems. There's only so much handwaving I'm willing to accept. And another thing: [SPOILERS] If everyone forgets about the dead extra person after he's killed, how do they know it's over? Wouldn't the class continue looking for the extra person until everyone was dead? In any case, it seems a lot of people who were very critical of Guilty Crown for being puerile were much more forgiving of Another despite the two shows sharing similar flaws. I took the opposite view. I dunno, maybe I liked Butt OS and wheelchair-fu more than I thought. A classroom of students too stupid to live? Not so much.

Dere-Dere Mode, activate!

Shakugan no Shana III was a lot better than Shakugan no Shana II but was still terrible. I blame J.C. Staff's persistent problems with producing compelling fight scenes. They're bad enough at it that sequences only a few seconds long routinely come out horrid. Thus, when J.C. Staff tries to drag out fight scenes over multiple episodes, the end result is disastrous.

Whatever happened to Shinobu's helmet and goggles?

Nisemonogatari is awesome if you like that SHAFTXSHINBO jive. It'll irritate the crap out of you if you have little to no patience for it, though. And let's be clear on this: Koyomi is a harem comedy protagonist. A shitty one. Also, the obsession with little sisters has got to stop. I suppose I don't "get" Japanese fetishes, but I am really tired of the imouto thing. It's basically only okay when it's like Harima + Yakumo from School Rumble (platonic friendship with the kid sister of his unrequited love). I suspect many viewers will further disagree with me here, but as much as I like Sakamoto Maaya, I believe Hirano Aya, the original voice of Shinobu (back when she didn't talk) would have been a better match. I assume Hirano Aya was replaced for reasons related to her relatively recent personal and professional problems.

I already described my problems with Suite Precure♪. I still want to know whether or not Cure Rhythm's battle costume smells like cake, though.

I dropped Moretsu Pirates because it was boring. I heard later that the show is actually about privateering, anyway.

Conan. Conan never changes.

I am attempting to watch every episode of Detective Conan A.K.A. Case Closed. At the time of this writing it has 570 episodes plus about two dozen movies and OVAs and it is still ongoing. In comparison, watching 161 episodes of Ranma 1/2 or 136 episodes of Naruto is nothing. Even my attempt to watch every single Pretty Cure episode (about 300 and counting plus a new movie every 40 episodes or so) pales in comparison. Detective Conan is an anime juggernaut.

She hath borne me on her back a thousand times.

From the looks of it, it also doesn't change much. I've avoided spoilers, but I have confirmed some of the gimmicks from the very first episodes remain staples well into the 500s. As far as I know, characters don't age or change grades in school, leaving Detective Conan with the ability to basically run indefinitely. As a genre, mysteries are always popular, and Detective Conan has carved out a simple but effective formula that works well. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Right?

Sonoko is a true friend because she doesn't
get jealous of Ran's awesome hair.

Still, five hundred plus episodes is a little excessive. Considering there is a brutal murder nearly every single episode, you have to wonder if people will start to blame Conan and Ran since bodies seem to pile up wherever they go. Likewise I worry if Mouri will suffer ill effects from being knocked unconscious so often. And why doesn't anyone ever wonder how he talks without moving his lips? Don't get me wrong, it's a fun show; some lighthearted nitpicking just helps balance out the endless series of grisly homicides. But it's clear some thing will never change. Shinichi will never return to his real age, and Ran will never find out. Poor kid. Ran is a real sweetheart, but she's dumb as all Hell.