Arika's mom.

To my surprise, My-Otome 0~S.ifr has a coherent plot. I was expecting it to be pure eye candy like My-Otome Zwei, featuring Arika's mom thrashing random deadbeats. Instead, the first two episodes make an honest effort at reconciling the HiME and Otome series—bridging the gap by explaining what happened in the hundreds of years between the two shows.

Nina's mom.

I don't really miss any of the regular HiME/Otome cast yet, so I'm going to take that as a sign that the My-HiME franchise may be able to live on Gundam-style, adding new installments every so often—at least for a little while. Then again, to some extent this is probably because I feel as if I already know the 0~S.ifr characters; My-Otome already revealed what happens to them. I already like Arika's mom better than Arika, but I can't say the same for Nina's mom.

This foreplay is pretty weird, even for My-Otome.

However, I do sorely miss Kajiura Yuki's music in My-Otome 0~S.ifr. This is not to say that the new music is bad, but it does sound more conventional. It's as if the Sifr OVA has a different soul than the previous incarnations. The change hasn't critically hurt the show, but I really hope future My-HiME projects will have Kajiura Yuki compositions supporting them.

Love gets excited when she talks, okay.

Between minutes 58 to 60 in the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie, you'll find wall-to-wall mahou shoujo beatdowns. It also starts off with Love doing that thing she does where the longer she talks, the faster and louder she gets.

Nice of you to join the fight, Peach-han.

Cure Peach also does a rather simian run for no reason, but it looks cool. Actually, it's probably to keep her enormous hair from dominating the screen entirely.

Max Heart is here to eat takoyaki and kick ass.
And they're all out of takoyaki.

The Max Heart crew doesn't save anyone's ass during these two minutes. They already bailed out all the rest of the Cures earlier in the movie. Well, not the Fresh Cures; they were too busy being incapacitated to need saving.

Cure Rouge, Cure Aqua, and Cure Mint need to learn to spread out more.

I lied. Shiny Luminous totally bails out Cure Rouge, Cure Aqua, and Cure Mint from the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 Go Go! team.

A signature move of the original Cures.

You'll also find that signature wall-stick move of the original Cures with all the flips. I'm still pissed they eliminated and then retconned out Cure Black's superfluous flip after she sticks, just so you know.

Cure Aqua gets to attack without reciting extended incantations.

You'll also find a lot of beam spamming by the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 Go Go! team. At least they get to whip that shit out in real time during the movie.

Your flying attacks are unsynchronized, rookies. UNSAT. Try it again.

The Fresh Cures also finally get into the act after spending most of the movie imprisoned in the La Brea Tar Pits.

Never mind. Cure Black and Cure White have got this.

The Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie didn't do too much with the experienced Cures overshadowing the newer Cures, but it's there. There is one extended sequence when the Fresh Cures see all the other Cures in battle costumes for the first time. Appropriately, the rookie Cures are completely awestruck.

Airborne Cure, Airborne Cure, where have you been?

Taking me completely by surprise, the two most telegenic of all Cure attacks in the movie belong to my least favorite Cures. Easily taking the top spot is the high altitude synchronized drop the much maligned Splash Star Cures execute just to show off. I might have to reconsider the possibility that what I originally assumed to be blatant ripoffs of the original duo are, in fact, actually re-imagined imitators in the flattery-type vein. Too soon to be an homage, but perhaps embodying the same spirit. I might have to watch Splash Star after all.

That's not lemonade.

Probably the second-best looking attack is the one where Cure Lemonade Spider-Mans the dog shit out of the Big Bad. I didn't know she had it in her. And there you go. Two solid minutes of hard core wall-to-wall ass kickings in a 70-minute movie that's 90 percent ass kickings anyway.

Milky Rose is a one-shot wonder.

Oh, I forgot to add that Milky Rose's big contribution to this fight is also really showy. I'm not entirely sure what to make of Milky Rose. She's actually one of the annoying mascots just transformed into a human dekochin ojousama form. My initial impression is she must think she's better than the other familiars. Why wasn't she at that meeting with the rest of the mascots? Even Coco and Nuts were there. Too good for staff huddles, eh?

If you all know each other, why didn't your Cures ever team up before?

To be fair, being at that staff meeting would drive me insane too. ALL the Pretty Cure mascots in one place at one time yammering back and forth at each other? Uh, no thanks. I will take your free rainbow flashlight, though.

Cure Rouge gets loose.

So what about the other 68 minutes of the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie? Not bad, but pity it couldn't have been longer. I guess you can't really have a kids movie run too long, but were little girls even the movie's real target audience? I'm thinking that's the demographic that went to the theaters, but most of the movie is heavy on the fight scenes, even for Precure.

The sky is falling, Cures. And, uh, you too.

I noticed similarities in the Pretty Cure All Stars DX movie to the climatic battles in My-Otome to tell you the truth, but All Stars DX outperforms My-Otome in mahou shoujo beat downs by a mile. These girls make the welkin ring.

Does this count as fan service? I know there's an armpit
fetish. How about the back of the knee?

Overall, Pretty Cure All Stars DX is Pretty Satisfying. It hits about all the notes you might reasonably expect, including making the Max Heart and Splash Star Cures more capable than the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 Go Go! sentai team and the almost ineffectual rookie Fresh trio. All Stars DX obviously takes place early in the Fresh timeline—before they could dance, even. If there's another All Stars movie (and I'm betting there will be, as long as Precure remains a cash cow), I wonder how the inclusion of Cure Passion will change up this dynamic?

Episode one really picks up when Natsuki appears.

There are rips available now of the My-HiME Blu-ray discs. The episode I watched probably could have been encoded at a higher bitrate, but still looked really nice. It also had an English dub track and a Chinese dub track, but no subtitles. So what are the chances we'll ever see this in the United States? If I understand Blu-ray region coding correctly, both the United States and Japan are in Region A, so I could import the disc, but lacking subtitles somewhat discourages me from doing so.

I'm not just saying that because Natsuki
shoots Mai to test for HiME powers.

I believe Blu-ray theoretically permits the addition of subtitle streams as downloadable content, but I could be way wrong about that and I'm certainly not aware of it being used in practice. There's also the possibility an American company could license this for release and fuck it up royal instead of just doing a bit-for-bit transfer and slapping on a subtitle track. Memo to prospective investors: I want to buy a My-HiME Blu-ray box set even though I already own the seven-disc Bandai DVD box set. Just don't screw it up, and you'll have my money in a heartbeat. (I'm still on the fence regarding Monster for really regrettable reasons, though. Sigh.)

Update: Pedro writes:

The My-HIME blu-ray box does have English subtitles (except for the trailers and the new 4 minute animation). So will the Otome blu-ray box coming in March.
The subtitle and audio options are listed on the Bandai Visual pages for both of them. This box is nice.

http://product.bandaivisual.co.jp/web_service/shop_product_info.asp?item_no=BCXA-0210
http://product.bandaivisual.co.jp/web_service/shop_product_info.asp?item_no=BCXA-0211

If American releases aren't announced soon, then it looks like I'm importing these providing they don't end up costing me a bajillion moon dollars. (Currently about $270 shipped, which isn't outrageous, but is still some pretty serious otaku money.)

Hanasaki Kaoruko, Tsubomi's grandmother.

If you've been following Heartcatch Precure! you'll know "Cure Grandma," Tsubomi's old nana, was a Cure back in the day known as Cure Flower. After her final battle with Dune (not the version with Sting), she's mostly been slumming around town and taking care of plants in her greenhouse.

We were totally cheated out of a transformation sequence.

Surprising no one, I'm sure, they finally found an excuse to drag Cure Flower out of retirement and she promptly goes all Miss Maria on us to whale on some deadbeats that Cure Blossom, Cure Marine, Cure Sunshine, and Cure Moonlight weren't able to handle on their own because there were only four of them. (Maybe they were suffering from too much Christmas Cake.)

Arika's mom kinda doesn't fight fair.

Cure Grandma's rheumatism prevents her from breaking out her flashiest attacks, but she does pull a page from the Book of MILF Beat Downs by copying and pasting some Lena Sayers attacks before returning to her gardening.

Zetsubou no Flower Carnival

Really, though, Cure Flower's appearance raises more questions than it answers. Does this make her a viable All Stars DX candidate? (We saw her riding the pine along with Cure Sunshine and Cure Moonlight in DX2.) What happened to her partner? (Cures don't work alone.) And why does her mascot transform into a ninja? That seems really unfair. Unfortunately, there will probably be some handwaving, and aside from a token reappearance before the end of the season, I suspect that will be the last we see of this old gunfighter.

Top-Tier Shiho

Wake Up, Girls! I-1 Club Shiho.

Great Shiho

The iDOLM@STER: Million Live! Shiho.

Good Shiho

My-Otome Shiho.

Bad Shiho

My-HiME Shiho.

Know your Shihoes. The life you save could be your own!