Version 5.4 ~ Haruhi gave rock and roll to you.
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Dated 21 January 2020: I'm committed to watching Railgun Tango even though I'll probably hate a lot of it

SATEN
SATEN constantly looks as if she needs a haircut, but she apparently never gets one.

There is no end to the amount of bitching I could do about Toaru Kagaku no Railgun T (A Certain Scientific Railgun T) and the Index universe as a whole. Seriously, though, it is mostly bad. Like, wall-to-wall bad. Nevertheless, I fully intend to watch both cours of Railgun 3 even though Railgun 2 was not nearly as good as Railgun 1, and it's been so long since I've seen Railgun 1 that I have to question if I would even like it as much now as I did then. (I bought the Blu-rays anyway. Still unopened.)

Kuroko and SATEN
I'm also not 100-percent sure I remember why Kuroko is in a wheelchair.

What I do know is that I still really like SATEN even though my reasons for liking her are entirely superficial. Here is a numbered list:

  1. SATEN has excellent hair. Like, for real. This is straight-up one of the biggest reasons.
  2. She's voiced by Itō Kanae, who typically uses a much more normal-sounding voice than you usually find in anime. Or at least it sounds normal to me.
  3. I get to continue writing SATEN Ruiko's surname in all capital letters (you know, like, on the Twitter) even though I've entirely forgotten why I started doing that in the first place. In any case, I've done it too long now to stop.
  4. As the only character in the main Railgun cast without superpowers, the distinction makes her the special one, I guess. I'm at least under the impression this is a big part of the reason why other SATEN fans like her—especially other SATEN fans who probably don't care about my first three reasons.

That's it. That's my list. You thought there would be five reasons, right? Because five is an honorary round number, eh. Fuck you, no it's not. Four reasons are all I need. And really I only needed the first two. SATEN's hair and Ito Kanae are wonderful.

Dated 6 July 2016: Sansha Sanyou: I don't think that bit about three girls each having the same kanji (葉) in their names ever comes up

Youko
Youko announces her departure to her empty little apartment.

I sort of like the idea of "Cute Girls Doing Cute Things" anime, but I have such a low success rate with them that I tend to avoid such shows as a matter of general principle. I'll check in every once in a while to see if my impressions of them has changed, but I usually end up dropping these shows relatively quick. This was the case with the well regarded Kiniro Mosaic despite Karen being an appealing nutjob, and was the case with Girlfriend (Kari) despite, um, the Tange Sakura character being an appealing nutjob. It's also why I've never started Yuyushiki and why I never watched Gochūmon wa Usagi Desu ka? (Is the Order a Rabbit?) even though I'm intrigued by the one who apparently carries a pistol for some reason I don't understand.

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Dated 20 August 2015: Million Doll is a gripping idol civil war melodrama

Monona, Yurino, and Rina
Chaste local idols don't go around flashing naked armpits.

I ordinarily would have dropped Million Doll already, but instead I re-watched its first six episodes in preparation for the show's final stretch. This was only possible because each episode is four minutes long. Million Doll has entirely too much frightful 3D CGI for me to watch six full-length episodes, let alone re-watch that many. Even aside from the 3D CG, the show looks cheap as Hell. (Are we still allowed to claim a show looks "cheap" in a post-Shirobako world?)

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Dated 30 July 2015: 5¢, please

<~cathead> can i sign up for rory's army
<~cathead> where's the Emroy Recruitment Center
<~cathead> it's just like a poorly constructed table and sign like lucy's thing in charlie brown
<~cathead> THE RORY IS: IN

Rory
Sure, why not.

Thus, I made this.

Dated 22 December 2013: The Makoto episode shows the Hibiki episode how it's done

Makoto
Makoto, that hat's wearing you.

As I stated earlier, one of the biggest problems with the Hibiki episode of The iDOLM@STER TV is that it doesn't feel as if it's really about Hibiki. It's about Hamzou and Inumi and 961PRO as much as or more than it is about Hibiki herself. The following episode, on the other hand, is a Makoto episode which is very much about Makoto.

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Dated 8 December 2013: I guess the Valvrave school festival Shouko promised is cancelled

Shouko
Don't worry, Shouko, it'll get worse.

I was pretty annoyed with this season of Kakumeiki Valvrave until episode 21. It was as lousy as ever, but the last few episodes had also been sort of boring. That's a really bad combination, but I'm pleased to say episode 21 brought back the good kind of Valvrave lousiness: Suffering and stupidity. [P.S. Spoilers herein abound.]

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Dated 19 August 2013: I think I'm only watching To Aru Kagaku no Railgun S and Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyou for the hime cuts

Kirihime
Woofies.

To Aru Kagaku no Railgun S (A Certain Scientific Railgun S) and Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyō (Dog and Scissors) don't have much in common except they're both at the bottom of the list of shows I'm watching this season and they both have characters with hime cuts. Oh, and pets.

Misaka and Saten
"Hi. I'm done with my stupid bullshit so the rest of the show
can be about you playing baseball and mahjong."

RailgunS is pretty terrible because it's so contrived. I do feel it is unfair to lambaste the show for its plot holes since most shows reveal pretty sizable plot holes after even cursory inspections, but Railgun S takes itself so seriously that I sort of feel it has it coming. The most egregious examples involve keeping Kuroko on the bench for nearly two solid cours because her teleportation ability would speed the plot along too quickly.

Saten
BEST GIRL.

To me, the most damning aspect of this second season of Railgun is that it actually improved after introducing the odious Touma to heroically solve Misaka's little problem. And watch over a kitten. To be fair, viewers looking for a show that is neither pretentious nor too low-brow yet still punctuated by periodic action scenes with satisfyingly serious slugfests will probably find a fair amount of material to enjoy in Railgun S as long as they're not too critical of Misaka's martyr complex or Accelerator's ludicrous villain voice. Me, I'm just watching it for SATEN SATEN SATEN and her easygoing BEST GIRL ways. Now with baseball shirts, variable hairstyles, Internet mahjong, and casual cooking!

Kirihime
It's not quite yet okay if it's you.

Exin asks:

Have you seen [Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyou] yet? I saw the advertisement on yourube [sic] before it started, watched an episode and found it refreshingly nice.

Kirihime and Kazuhito
Get a room.

Indeed, I am watching and enjoying Dog & Scissors even though it is pretty awful in an Akikan! sort of way (albeit without Grape's horrible voice). This is one of those shows any reasonable viewer is forced to acknowledge as "objectively bad" although it can still be entertaining in a stupid sort of way. It really does have far too many flat-chest jokes and dog-abuse jokes. There's also a lot more foreshadowed bestiality than I was expecting.

Kirihime
Relax. She's only looking for her underwear.

If I have to conclude that Dog and Scissors is "objectively bad, subjectively bad," I think I have to categorize Railgun S as "objectively good, subjectively bad." Anyone who fears his reputation may be damaged by the type of anime he watches will likely loathe both To Aru Kagaku no Railgun S and Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyō. However, anime sophomores (i.e., ones who are neither neophytes nor jaded, seasoned, middle-aged veterans) will likely be able to find something to enjoy in RailgunS. On the other hand, the only people likely to enjoy Dog & Scissors are probably either the aforementioned neophytes or the elderly set of anime fans—the poor bastards who have been watching too long and seen too much to still be angry young men—so long their tastes have wrapped around enough and granted them the ability to enjoy just about anything.

Dated 14 April 2013: Winter 2013 season wrapup

Caesar, Oryou, Saemonza, and Erwin
The best team in the best show.

I'm undecided as to whether or not the final two episodes of GIRLS und PANZER qualify as part of the winter 2013 season. They were delayed from the autumn 2012 season and should probably belong there with the rest of the series, but then again they did actually air late in winter 2013. There are only 40-some minutes of new material, but that's more than Teekyuu, so it arguably has as much right to be here as the various two-minute shows. Whatever the case, these two final episodes of GIRLS und PANZER were far and away superior to any of the other shows from winter 2013.

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