Version 5.4 ~ Haruhi gave rock and roll to you.
karmaburn.com karmaburn.com

Dated 12 September 2023: Azaka is the only Kara no Kyoukai character with any charisma

Azaka
These are cute pajamas.

I've been meaning to say this for a long time, and I might even have said it on the Twitter at some point, but I stand by this claim: Azaka is the only character in Kara no Kyoukai (Garden of Sinners) who has any charisma. Now, don't get me wrong. I like Shiki and Touko, but I wouldn't describe what their personalities have going for them as charisma. I like Mikiya too, but that dude definitely ain't got charisma. Anyway, Azaka is the reason why I find "Oblivion Recording" (the sixth installment of the OVA series) retains so much more re-watching value to me. And I'm not just saying that because Azaka kicks a vagina flower in the nads.

Azaka
Locks are only good for keeping out honest people.

In the interest of heading off foreseeable objections, I suppose I should concede it's been a long time since I've watched most of these movies, and I should probably reconsider such a broad statement without at least giving the "Mirai Fukuin" ("Future Gospel") characters more attention. However, the reality is I've been thinking about making this claim since before that even came out (10 years ago), and I needed a blog post for this week. It was either going to be this or something about more anime guns again.

Dated 17 September 2019: Senki Zesshou Symphogear is an anime miracle

Maria
I like this power-up, but I admit I was hoping for another Gungnir jacking.

I'm going to start out by insisting it's not just preschool girls who enjoy shows about mahou shoujo punching things. It's okay for boys to like them too. I've been on board with this concept since at least 2004 with My-HiME, First Pretty Cure, and their subsequent sequels. In 2012, Senki Zesshou Symphogear took this idea, expanded it to include singing while punching things, and raised both the intensity and absurdity levels. From my seat in the stands, this was an anime game-breaking home run. Amazingly, the popularity of Symphogear has proven sufficient enough that we gotten five seasons of it, all five of which are currently streaming on the Crunchyroll. Moreover, Discotek has even licensed it for a U.S. Blu-ray release next year.

Hibiki and Chris
Somehow, despite all the shit they've seen, it's still
possible for them to stare at something in disbelief.

Urgings on the Twitter for followers to "watch Symphogear" has turned into a meme of sorts, but I assure you the sentiment behind these admonitions is genuine. Granted, the appeal of magikal girls singing while punching things isn't always immediately apparent to every anime fan, but there's an old graph that accurately captures the trajectory of impressions by initially skeptical viewers. It's not easy ramping up the stakes continuously, but Symphogear has kept its intensity up through all five seasons. Now on the verge of its series finale, expectations are pretty high, but Symphogear has never let me down before.

Dated 2 October 2017: Symphogear? Still stupendous

Granny and Maria
Something something Maria, something something huge tomatoes.

I don't write about Symphogear as much as I ought to, consider that it's FUCKIN' GREAT. It's basically a miracle that we've gotten four seasons already with a fifth season supposedly on the way. This season, Senki Zesshou Symphogear AXZ ended up my second-favorite show, after Re:CREATORS but ahead of Princess Principal (which is itself way better than I expected). Still, I don't have much to say about Symphogear except that it's Symphogear. You either understand the appeal or you don't. It's definitely not something I expect to have any success in describing though text. Not in any way that does it justice, at least.

Shirabe and Prelati
Something something the appeal of a girl made of saws.

No doubt, there are still dubious readers on the fence about the whole thing. To be honest, the famous Symphogear meme chart pretty accurately describes the typical first-time viewing experience, aside from some outliers (like me) who were totally on board ever since Zwei Wing hit the stage in episode one of the first season. As to what you might expect in Symphogear AXZ? More singing while fighting (fighting while singing?), and more solving problems by punching them. The Hell else do you need?

Dated 14 June 2015: I am eagerly looking forward to the next episode of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha ViVid for once

Vivio
Vivio's heterochromia is excessive.

The first 10 episodes of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha ViVid essentially went by as background noise because I "watched" them without actually paying much attention. For example, when underboob nun appeared in her red cropped habit last episode, I didn't realize she was the nun from the previous episode because her habit in that episode was blue instead of red. Oh, and it didn't leave her half-naked. I'm barely following Nanoha ViVid because I don't know any of the characters (sort of a Catch-22, that), I can't remember anything from the previous series (StrikerS), and I think this whole tournament thing is rather pointless.

Victoria and Chantez
I wonder if this is the same church Ciel goes to?

You see, I'm one of those jokers who thinks the best season of Nanoha was First Nanoha (technically I think the best "season" was the second half of the first season and the first half of A's). StrikerS was a complete drag because it seemed to consist mostly of tensionless training sessions in a conveniently deserted urban ghost town occasionally interrupted by fights with pregnant clones. Then years went by, so don't expect me to remember who all the Numbers are after all this time. Hell, I've spent most of ViVid wondering if Bardiche is going to talk or if something happened to the voice actor. My highlight thus far was seeing FATE TESTAROSSA drive a minivan.

Corona
Never bring a knife to a starlight breaker fight.

But all this changes next episode because Corona is fighting Einhart. Or more accurately, Corona is going to get fuckin' WORKED by Einhart. Hell, I give it a 50/50 chance that Einhart overboosts some attack, momentarily unleashes DARK MAMIKO, and puts Corona into a coma so the cour can come to a close with at least a little drama. I'm pretty sure extensive ViVid spoilers ought to be readily available. The anime is based on a manga, isn't it? Anyway, Corona is the shrimpy kid who pulled a cake knife on her opponent in an alley during an intermurals match. It was a funny enough image to distinguish her from the other more boringer characters.

Einhart and Asteion
Yes, Einhart's magical jobbie is a kitten.

Anyway, Corona's tournament fight against Einhart continues in the upcoming episode. Einhart was set up early on as the evil so-and-so reincarnated as a little girl who smokes the dog shit out of honorable decent characters not named Nanoha or Fate. But then everyone ganged up on Einhart and befriended the Hell out her so she (just like everybody else in the series) has done fuck all since. I don't know how many more episodes of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha ViVid are left, and I don't know any of the manga spoilers, so I get to at least anticipate one episode of this otherwise boring series because it'll probably feature a MAMIKORE beat down as Einhart loses her cool, lets a little Old Evil leak out, and drags Corona up and down the Thunderdone, maybe forcing all the other characters to pile on in order to take her down. Don't worry, I'm sure Corona will be fine after some mild convalescing, and Einhart will be sorry for what she did.

Dated 27 January 2015: Cross Ange second cour: Let's Get This Rondo Started

Salamandinay and Ange
Oh, Sunrise.

I'm not sure precisely when Cross Ange: Tenshi to Ryuu no Rondo (Cross Ange: Rondo of Angels and Dragons) went off the rails, but it's pretty much just headed straight towards where the fuck ever now. There's a post-apocalyptic parallel universe populated with randy dragon girls, for crying out loud. P.S. Spoilers.

Ange and Tusk
I'm starting to think Ange and Tusk are both bar magnets.

I've seen some viewers claim that it's worse than Kakumeiki Valvrave now in terms of making sense, but that's honestly an unfair and misleading characterization. Whereas Valvrave suffered from lots of annoying bullshit that didn't make any sense, Cross Ange is packed with amusing bullshit that doesn't make any sense. It's an important distinction, okay. Blessed Haruhi, this is a great show.

Dated 23 November 2014: Anime triage

Conan and Sera
As if there is any chance in Hell of Sera turning out to be bad.

Because of "circumstances," I find myself dropping about half the shows I was following this season. Well, perhaps not so much dropping as putting on hiatus for the time being. Maybe I'll catch back up during a particularly lousy season that coincides with greater anime-watching opportunities. (Won't be next season, because next season looks pretty sweet.)

Jurai and Mirei
I'm pretty sure this is how cooties are transmitted.

I only started watching Inou-Battle wa Nichijou-kei no Naka de because of Studio Trigger. Thus far, it comes across as fairly unremarkable, although the basic setup is sort of amusing. This is no Little Witch Academia or Kill la Kill, so I'm left judging the show on its merits. It's fine, but the turbo-dere crazy girl was the only one I really liked. Since she's basically never in the show, what's the point? This is an easy one to put on hiatus, because I don't expect any spoilers down the road to ruin my chances of enjoying it. If it turns out to be a stinker, then I'll have dodged a bullet by ducking out early now.

Elizabeth and Meliodas
Succor.

As much as I enjoy watching a runty old man brazenly fondle a nubile, 16-year-old princess who suffers from poor depth perception, I'm dropping Nanatsu no Taizai because I'm already reading the manga. There are currently more than 100 chapters out, making it a cinch that even a two-cour show will just trail off at some convenient stopping point without resolving anything. The anime adaptation is pretty good, and the fights have been entertaining, but I need to clear up some room in the ol' anime block.

Akako
Oh ho ho.

I'm putting both Magic Kaito 1412 and Detective Conan on hold. I consider Magic Kaito to sort of be a Detective Conan property anyway, even though that's not technically accurate, and I've got a huge backlog of Conan episodes numbering into the hundreds, so it's easy to set both shows on back burners. Really, most of y'all should probably be watching both of these shows. It just goes to show that "nobody watches shows if they're really popular."

Sento
Bad dream?

I haven't been enjoying Amagi Brilliant Park nearly as much as most viewers, largely because the current flavor to Kyoto Animation's work doesn't quite agree with me. That said, I have enjoyed it more than Hyouka (which I think most viewers would describe as vastly superior), and I've definitely liked it more than the episodes of Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! that I watched. (I skipped Kyoukai no Kanata, Free!, and Tamako Market entirely.) Kyoto Animation is very good at what they do, and I can tell the original light novel probably would have fared much worse had it been adapted by most other studios. Nevertheless, I can't ultimately care too much about the show and was mostly watching for Ayako. 50 Cent was pretty good until the series decided she needed to fall in love with Kanye West. The dude simply isn't charismatic enough to get me to care about this relationship angle. Even if he is at least better than the typical Potato-kun, that's a low standard to reach.

Hitoe
I'm pretty sure the entire thing is Hitoe's fault somehow.

I will definitely undrop selector spread WIXOSS at some point (providing it doesn't get another season). I intend to follow this suffering to the end (of this cour anyway), even though I basically get no enjoyment out of the show anymore. These are broken characters stumbling their way through an asinine situation for implausible reasons. I'm mostly just waiting to see if Akira is going to kill somebody before Hanayo gets pregnant. She is going to get pregnant and spawn stupid playing card babies, right? Oh, like you have a better reason to watch this show.

Asuna
The Lion King.

I was going to pause Sword Art Online 2 because I've read the Mother's Rosario arc and already know what happens. Still, this arc should be about as good as Sword Art Online ever gets, so I might as well keep watching. I'm not sure how standard (read: Kirito) fans will react to the Asuna-led focus of these remaining episodes, but I hope they at least enjoy these episodes more than they like the second half of the first season. (You know, the one where Asuna spent all of her time sitting in a chair and waiting to be rescued when she wasn't too busy being sexually assaulted.) Unfortunately for people watching the anime, there are spoilers for this arc that will be difficult to avoid because they're of the variety that detractors of Sword Art Online won't be able to resist revealing.

Asuna
Aim for the face.

Actually, there's a good chance I'll place Sword Art Online 2 on hiatus anyway.

P.S. Asuna dies.

Sailor V
That is totally the Sailor V costume from the back...

Sailor Venus
...but it changes to the Sailor Venus battle
costume when we see it from the front.

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Crystal was an easy one to put on hold because it only airs every two weeks and because I frankly don't like it. I like the idea of Sailor Moon, but I can't claim to particularly enjoy the manga, the 90-some episodes of the original anime that I've watched, or the Crystal Bullshit episodes of the remake that I've seen so far. With Chibi Usa about to make her appearance, this was a no-brainer. I still haven't officially dropped it (or the original anime, for that matter), since I feel I should watch the entire thing as a matter of principle, but it is a slog.

Ange and Salia
Busted. P.S. Spoilers.

You know what show I'm not putting on hold? Motherlovin' Cross Ange. This is some good shit, yo. Week after week of solid entertainment. Two cours, baby!

Dated 6 November 2014: I'm so stoked Cross Ange is going to be two cours

Ange
All things considered, Angelise is taking this rather well.

I should probably be blogging about Cross Ange: Tenshi to Ryuu no Rondo (Cross Ange: Rondo of Angels and Dragons) on a regular basis because I think it has the potential to provide as much mileage as Gundam SEED Destiny did. Let's be clear. I am not watching Cross Ange "ironically," okay. This show is shit, but it is great shit. It's never boring and you'll stare in disbelief at some of the idiocy that transpires, but I still enjoy it a great deal. It's got Banana Mizuki stabbing dragons in the face, for crying out loud!

Tusk and Ange
Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

If you've been paying attention to the OP and ED, you should have figured out the cast doesn't comprise entirely of lesbian rapists and their Stockholm Syndrome-afflicted victims. There's also at least one young man who appears positioned to be Ange's love interest despite appearing to lack genitals. Well, he's here now, and seemingly not some alpha male rebel soldier who will help Ange bring righteousness to an unjust world, but rather a well-meaning doofus with Yuuki Rito's vulnerability to anime gravity. He's not Potato-kun, because he doesn't adhere to the Otaku Virtues, but he's still more of a schmuck than I expected.

Tusk and Ange
Stop complaining and eat your gruel, princess.

I assume Sunrise was sort of trying to set up the Meet Cute that transpires in My-Otome 0~S.ifr~ between Lena Sayers and Not Kira Yamato, but it doesn't go quite so smooth. For example, Tusk (forget it, Jake, it's Sunrise) tries to praise and flatter Ange at one point, but the only compliments he can think of are all about her looks. "You're completely mental, but I've seen you naked, and you're really hot, plus I've been alone on this God damn island alone with nothing but poisonous snakes to keep me company for a long time, okay. Let's make out." To be fair, I don't think I'd be able to come up with anything better given the circumstances.

Ange and Tusk
Stab it again for me, sweetie.

I appreciate that anime is capable of mature romances and poinant scenes of meaningful character development, but it's also capable of ignoring all that in favor of showing how a squadron of lesbian rapists, hapless well-meaning rookies, total cunts, and spoiled princesses can join together to promote vague objectives by fighting a convenient menace. It's important to remember that nothing in this show is realistic to begin with, so trying to preserve any sense of logic or reason while watching Cross Ange is counterproductive. There are dragons and people using magic, you know. This is a world where a frilly bra and panty set crammed into an air intake can render a war machine completely FUBAR.

Hilda
Hilda? Also a snake.

Try not to wonder why a venomous snake might leap up out of nowhere simply to bite Ange deep in her inner thigh. Moreover, don't object that sucking on a snake bike doesn't actually remove the venom, particularly if enough time has passed for the poison to circulate through her body and completely incapacitate our uppity little princess. Sometimes crotch sucking makes the heart grow fonder. I heard absence can do that too. Maybe being reunited after spending all that time on the island will help Ange get along better with the annoying girl she bitched out for no reason, the broads that banded together to mutually despise her, and the Yukarin psycho who tried to kill her.

Dated 12 August 2013: Senki Zesshou Symphogear G: In the Distance, That Day, When the Star Became Music... and Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya both feature battle costumes

Yumi
This was awesome even though they gonged Anime-chan.

I had fairly high hopes for both Senki Zesshou Symphogear G: In the Distance, That Day, When the Star Became Music... and Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya prior to the start of the season. Now—nearly halfway through summer 2013—I'm pleased both are turning out to be quite good. Symphogear G is a sequel to widely panned but wildly entertaining original Senki Zesshou Symphogear: Meteoroid-Falling, Burning, and Disappear, Then... from winter 2012. Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya is based on the eponymous parody manga riffing on the Fate/stay night universe. It's pretty amazing how adroit it is at drawing out the best Fate/stay night has to offer. I liked the manga so much from the first few chapters that I stopped reading it so that I would not spoil myself on the anime. It does not disappoint. All around, even without including DokiDoki! Precure, this is a pretty good season for magikal girls trashing the joint.

Kirika, Shirabe, and Maria
You're going to need to give up more than some lunch money.

Symphogear G introduces the very aerodynamic Maria and her little cohorts, Shirabe and Kirika. As antagonists, they're approximately as sinister as the Velka Knights from Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha A's and will almost certainly join Hibiki, Tsubasa, and Chris at the end of the season against a common enemy: Post-menopausal Belldandy.

Maria
You can tell Maria isn't really evil because her cape is awesome.

There's not much to say about the actual plot or story behind Symphogear G. You're supposed to watch it to see these girls thrash each other with preposterous weapons while singing. Moon debris features prominently in Symphogear G as a reminder that the collateral damage from the first season was quite severe, making it likely this season will also not end quietly. At a minimum, I expect the survivors will need to change schools again.

Illya
Don't worry, Illya. It gets worse.

Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya cynically takes the point of view of a reluctant magikal girl tricked into taking on the role after a recalcitrant magic wand divorces itself from its previous master. The jokes are not quite as frantic as they are in Carnival Phantasm, but Prisma Illya does reinforce suspicions that TYPE-MOON parodies are better than canonical TYPE-MOON properties.

Miyu and Illya
There sure are a lot of armpits in this show.

The character designs in Prisma Illa are quite different from Takeuchi Takashi standard typically associated with TYPE-MOON, but I think they work in this comedic context just as rounder designs served Carnival Phantasm well. I wasn't expecting the action sequences to be so energetic, particularly since I still associate SILVER LINK with the belt tightening it imposed during Tasogare Otome x Amnesia. Hopefully it didn't blow its Prisma Illa budget on the high-flying episode four.

Hibiki
Hibiki preparing to punch more things.

Like its 2012 predecessor, Symphogear G is the closest thing we're likely to get to a mahou shoujo opera unless someone actually talks Kajiura Yuki into composing The End of My-HiME opera I've been wishing for since 2005. Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya demonstrates how much better a TYPE-MOON property can get if you sideline all the idiotic male characters. I'm certainly not one of those viewers who abhor male anime characters on general principle, but I have to admit a lot of these TYPE-MOON chumps are quite odious, particularly with regard to Fate/stay night which had Shirou AND Shinji, both of whom should have been recast as boat anchors. Things are so much nicer without them, even if Caster is still trying to kill everybody.